Email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser.

Enthum Coaching

Enthum Newsletter
Issue No 12 - January 2011

dear friends & colleagues,

Welcome to our occasional newsletter. And do take a look at our newly updated website.

When I’m sixty-four - I’m likely to be happier
Lilliana Gibbs

Sixty used to sound pretty old.  That was when people were retiring, winding down and playing a lot of golf and bridge. Sixty-year olds wore cardigans and glasses and enjoyed their garden, their grandchildren and their bus pass.

But when I look around at friends who are nearing or beyond sixty, I see a very different picture. These are vibrant people involved in new business ventures, undertaking purposeful travels, learning new skills and starting community projects. I see energetic people engaged in their own growth and development, embarking on new relationships, and expressing themselves creatively and intellectually.

Maybe sixty is the new forty, or perhaps there is something more to be understood about growing older.

A new branch of economics is attempting to measure human well-being in a more satisfactory way than by using money. Bhutan leads the way with a Gross National Happiness index, and this idea is beginning to shape planning processes in other countries, including the UK.  A recent article in The Economist (18/12/10) reveals a fascinating picture.  There are four main factors that influence our level of happiness: gender (women are slightly happier than men), personality (extroverts are happier than introverts, and neurotics are the unhappiest), external circumstances (education and money help) and age (the 70+ people are happiest).

When people of all ages are asked to predict how happy they will be at various life stages, there is an assumption that happiness, like physical fitness, declines with age. But a new meta-study that looked at countless statistics and studies over the past forty years, in over seventy countries, reveals a ‘happiness U-bend’. As young adults we are generally pretty cheerful, but that declines steadily to middle age. The nadir varies among countries —Ukrainians are at their most miserable at 62, while the Swiss hit the bottom at 35– but in most countries people are at their unhappiest in their 40’s or early 50’s. The global average is 46.

But then there is good news; it’s all up from there. We enjoy life more after middle age. 

Even allowing for cultural variations, the experience of growing up during a war or in boom years, or of being rich or poor; it seems our emotional well-being is not much affected by external circumstances as by some internal process.

Studies show that people behave differently at different ages. Younger adults are more volatile, and more prone to depression and anxiety. Worry peaks in mid age, anger declines throughout life and sadness rises slightly in middle age, and then falls thereafter.

Older people argue less and have better solutions to conflict. They can control emotions more effectively, and are less critical and angry, and more accepting of others.  The result is a more cheerful disposition, and a happier person.

And being happy has many benefits, beyond enjoying life more. It also means being healthier. Happy people are likely to be more active and are less susceptible to illness, and they recover or heal faster than stressed people. And there’s more; it turns out that happy people are more productive, being better at problem solving and sustaining attention.

My friends are enjoying growing vegetables and playing with their grandchildren, but some are also riding bicycles from England to Iran, playing in a Bob Dylan tribute band and writing film scripts.

As an educated woman, with an extrovert personality it would seem I have much to look forward to.  So rather than worrying about the aging population being a burden on society, we can choose to see the benefits of living in a more cheerful, optimistic world.

First you are young
then you are middle-aged
then you are old
then you are wonderful

Lady Diana Cooper

“… it also helped me to identify where I am spending my time, and how that relates to what is and is not important in my life.  Just the process of noticing has worked its 'magic' in such a way that there have been significant changes to the ways in which I allocate my time, but seemingly without having to make conscious effort to do so.”

Realise Your Value
– group coaching for women
A powerful and affordable process for working towards goals and making change

Lilliana is starting a number of new small groups soon in Lewes and in London.

These are monthly sessions with small on-going groups that combine cognitive understanding with intuitive processes to broaden our mental and emotional ’bandwidth’, and so increasing our capacity to experience and problem solve.

“I now have a clearer understanding of why I am where I am in my professional life. The door is now open where I can determine what I would ideally like to be doing, and where I feel able to actively seek challenge and embrace change.”

For more information, locations, dates and prices visit
To explore more about group coaching call Lilliana for a free 30 minute phone session on 0779 2267670


Interesting finds we like to share:

Mindset: A New Psychology of Success
by Carol Dweck

What we believe about people's talent and intelligence can genuinely limit their capacity for learning and growth. Carol Dweck demonstrates how people with a so-called FIXED MINDSET, see intelligence as inherent and unchangeable. These people develop a tendency to focus on proving or sustaining their position, rather than learning. But when people view intelligence as a potential that can be developed, this is called the GROWTH MINDSET, and these people put effort into continuous learning and into developing strategies that enhance capacity.

Recognising that people differ in their natural abilities, Carol Dweck stresses that it is continued effort which makes abilities blossom. Children who have learned to develop a growth mindset know that effort is the main key to creating knowledge and skills. And the growth mindset can be learnt, people of all ages can shift to understanding everything as a learning opportunity, and build their skills and intelligence.



All best wishes,

the Enthum Team

+44 (01273) 573878                                                               design & Illustration

Copyright (C) 2010 Enthum CC